page 7

feels like summer
when i fell asleep next to green leaves and a single clear glass
1.5 cleaned out bottles
empty packs
of cigarettes
quiet
and my
cats.

it wasn't the warmth because i am freezing.
it wasn't being left alone or leaving.
it was a feeling.

i can't finish the bottle,
it's still half full.

i remember around 3 or 4a.m. sort of wanting to save a glass before 10:30am. its never come down to that, but as soon as this is over, it will. and i may lose everything once and for all. really, everything. and maybe i'll just cut off my hands.